Tag Archives: sin

Healing Wounds of Narcissism… a New Beginning

The Silver Lining is all about finding hope and encouragement in Jesus, so you can be healed, and find the freedom and joy God wants you to have! For the joyful month of April, The Silver Lining theme is: HEALING. After all, Easter is a celebration of new beginnings; new life in Jesus Christ, who suffered and died for our sins, and then miraculously arose on the third day; ALIVE! I will be sharing godly truths, to spread awareness about the kinds of lies, beliefs, and teachings, which can interfere with the healing of our wounds, whether they be; emotional, physical, mental, or spiritual. Some of these wrong life lessons are learned from toxic people; others are learned from our situations and the broken world in which we live.  As we renounce lies we’ve learned, and leave damaging situations and worldly teachings behind us, our wounds will become like old faded scars, barely visible; a story from long ago. We can then go on to live a joyful life, which is pleasing to God. In His timing, we will grow stronger, and more courageous in Christ, and find ourselves more eager, and able, to help others heal too! “But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed” (Isa. 53:5 New International Version).

One serious topic we will continue to explore, is NARCISSISM; which can get in the way of your healing even when you are doing your best to follow Jesus. Why? Because NARCISSISM, also known as EXTREME SELF-CENTEREDNESS; is a SIN, based upon lies the NARCISSIST puts into the victim’s head, and the heads of everyone else with whom the narcissist comes into contact. A narcissist is one who is engaged in self idol worship. If you’ve been the victim of narcissism, you need Jesus more than ever to heal you, and undo all the damaging abuse that was done to you. You need Jesus to show you the TRUTH; for the insidious spirit at work within narcissism needs to be revealed by THE HOLY SPIRIT. At  The Silver Lining, we will learn about the lies and spirits at work in narcissism, and how you can battle them. We will learn how to identify a self-centered, narcissistic personality, and we will focus on the miraculous healing Jesus can do in your life; emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. “But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander” (1 Pet. 3:5-6).

If 1 out of 25 people are thought to be so extremely self-centered they are considered to be narcissists, imagine how may people need healing from lies, manipulation, control, slander, confusion, and abuse? And with so many people who do not even know Jesus, imagine how much pain people are carrying around each and every day, and how many open wounds never get healed? All this, because people do not realize how much they need Jesus, and how he IS the silver lining we all so desperately need! He is THE SON shining bright beyond our dark stormy, cloudy trials! The abused need him, and the abusers need him. Everyone’s lives can be made new through God’s Son. Jesus is THE ONE and ONLY answer! Share the truth! Look for the silver lining…there is HOPE on the horizon! “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here” (2 Cor. 5:17)!

Below are some past blog posts and articles to get you started, in gaining a better understanding of the deceitfulness of narcissism. For more posts, and related topics, visit my homepage, and click on the topic: Narcissism. There are also related topics, such as: Spiritual Abuse, Suffering, Deception, Self-Condemnation, and Rejection. You can also go to the tab: Blog Posts, and tag search: narcissism, narcissist, self-centeredness; and any related words of interest. You can also go to the tab: Articles, and do the same search; for different, and more in depth material on the same topic. Visit, and ‘like’ my Facebook page for daily encouraging updates on healing, joy, freedom, and much more! You will also find wise posts filled with truth, by other brothers and sisters in Christ, who are rich in knowledge of the scriptures, and topics related to healing, narcissism, and God’s great grace, mercy, and love! May God bless you, and heal your hurting heart, in Jesus name!

A NARCISSIST’S DAMAGING IMPACT…HOPE FOR THE HURTING

NARCISSISM: BATTLING A SELF-CENTERED SIN

LOVE AND SUPPORT FOR VICTIMS OF NARCISSISTIC ABUSE


You do not have to remain bleeding and bruised! Jesus came to heal your wounds, and give you brand new life in Him! Say, “YES!” Rejoice!

Wisdom for Young Men… the Adulterous Woman 

Cloud: “For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil; but in the end she is bitter as gall, sharp as a double-edged sword. Her feet go down to death her steps lead straight to the grave” (Prov. 5: 3-5 New International Version).

Silver Lining: “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Prov. 5:18).

As hard as it may be to hear, God’s word is true. Men who get involved with adulterous women will be deceived, and ultimately destroyed. On the surface she seems attractive, but underneath lies dirt and grime and danger. God even warns young men what to look for, and promises that the adulterer will take down with her, those who give in to temptation. 

But rejoice! God offers a blessing to those who delight in one wife! He wants each of His children to enjoy love that is pure. His plans for marriage are pure and holy! He is happy for us when we stay together with our spouse, through good times and bad. God believes in love and marriage; He takes marriage vows seriously, and He blesses the holy union between a man and a woman. Children are God’s greatest gift and reward from marriage. Marriages without children are also a blessed divine union. For the Bible says, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).

Though God talks to young men in Proverbs, His word applies to young women too. Young women, who get involved with married men, will find dreams dashed and hopes smashed. Do not be fooled into thinking someone is your “soulmate” if that person, or you, are already married to someone else.  To believe this is to believe a lie; a lie meant to break hearts and destroy the families God has beautifully created. Anyone in an adulterous situation thinks he or she is the exception, but there are no exceptions under God’s Law. If God promises lives will be ruined because of adultery… they will.  

Young or old, male or female… Do not get involved with someone if you are married. Do not get involved with someone if that someone is married. Do not give yourself away to anyone outside of marriage. “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4).

God’s way is the best way. His way offers protection, joy, and rewards. His commands are there because He loves us!  If you have committed the sin of adultery, repent; and be forgiven in Christ! Find a trusted Christian advisor who can help you back onto the righteous path Jesus wants to walk with you. “Great peace have those who love your law, and nothing can make them stumble.” Psalm 119:165

” ‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.” But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:27-28). Pursue Jesus before and during marriage! 

Fifty Darker Shades of Sin… Sexual Abuse is not a “grey area”

By Angela Royse Pelleman

Formerly published as “God’s Scriptures on Sexual Abuse are Written in Black and White… Not Grey”

Confusion and Lies  

As if it wasn’t bad enough to be exposed to unwelcome previews for the pornographic movie, Fifty Shades of Grey, right before Valentine’s Day, it’s déjà vu, two years later, with Fifty Shades Darker.  Though pain, abuse, and trauma are weaved through this vile book and movie, which sadistically glamorize a sexually abusive relationship, the devil has managed to convince readers, movie viewers, actors, and producers, that they need another dose of more sin and darkness. I cringe just typing out the titles, which were aptly chosen for material so “grey” without love, and  so “dark” with evil. 
I pray my words will honor God, and convict the hearts of many: male and female, young and old, Christian and non-Christian; from making the shameful sinful, regretful mistake of viewing what should actually be an X-rated movie, which can do x-amount of damage in too many ways to count.

Original, complete article below:

As God quickly gave me words and verses to share, I started wondering: Do they really know that’s it’s wrong, and why it’s wrong? To me, it’s obvious, but it may not be obvious to those who are lost or confused, or to those who have been taught to believe lies. Even Christians can be blinded by the lies of the world. “And when he comes, he will open the eyes of the blind and unplug the ears of the deaf” (Isa. 35:5 New Living Translation).
This may be a “gray” area in the minds of some people, but God speaks to us, in scriptures, from pages that are black and white. The words of Jesus can be found in red. God hates sexual abuse. His word says, “The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord, but gracious words are pure” (Prov. 15:26 English Standard Version). If God’s word says NO on a particular issue, then God doesn’t want His children involved in any way, shape, or form. That includes reading books and watching movies about it. Walking down an ungodly path, leads people into temptation. “But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires” (James 1:14 Holman Christian Standard Bible).

“No! Sexual abuse is not okay!” I want to scream it. Neither is emotional, verbal, physical, or spiritual abuse. Usually, several of them are tied together, as they are in this movie. My hope is that people will not change their minds because of what I have to say about violence and porn, but what God has to say about it. Maybe lives will be changed for the better. Maybe lives will be…saved. 

Sin and Sensationalism

Is our world so broken, that the newest form of sensationalism is the sexually abusive relationship? Yes; God already knew it would happen: “People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people” (2 Tim. 3:2-4 New International Version).

A sin is a sin, and the devil is a deceiver. He knows that people will think it’s okay to watch a pornographic movie, if it has an acceptable R rating and is being shown at a public movie theater. The devil also knows that people get their ideas about love from the fallen world around them. Lies can be found in books, movies, commercials, and magazines. They all shout out the lie that sex is love.

God says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:28 NIV). When people view pornographic material, they are inviting sinful thoughts to surface. This can lead to further sin. Why jeopardize the chance to have a fulfilling, godly relationship, based on love? “Do not give the devil an opportunity” (Eph. 4:27 NET Bible).

Sex and Abuse

When sexual abuse gets added into the mix, and it causes even more chaos and confusion. Sexual abuse is not love. It is the opposite. Sexual abuse is hatred. It is a sin. Sexual abuse is unhealthy, damaging, and evil. It is a lie to believe that it’s romantic to dole it out. It’s a lie to believe one must take it, in order to prove love. It’s a bold-faced like to believe love can be found in a sexually abusive relationship.

Sex without marriage already causes damage. God’s laws are in place to protect us. God intended sex to be an intimate act of love, within the confines of marriage only. The marriage bond is sacred. God says this: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Heb. 13:4 English Standard Version). Sex forms an intimate bond between a husband and wife, and it’s one way for them to express their love toward each other. In fact, it is so special, that the couple can create a baby together. 

If God does not approve of sex outside of marriage, then He certainly does not approve of an abusive sexual relationship. God also does not approve of sexual abuse within a marriage. He gives clear instructions about how men should treat their wives: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Eph. 5: 25-28 NIV).

Temptation and Thievery

Anything in opposition to God’s commandments, is sin. The devil is at work, enticing people to sin. He does this subtly, through entertainment. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and also have it to the full” (John 10: 10 NIV). These are the words of Jesus. The thief is the devil. The devil steals virginity, innocence, childhood, and peace. He kills by inflicting pain, turning people against each other, and he will do whatever he can to kill hope, faith, and joy. He destroys purity, marriages, families, and lives. He is a tempter. One vile way the devil does this, is through sexual abuse. He also seeks to deceive people into thinking that certain situations aren’t so bad. The devil is a deceiver and a liar. Only Jesus can redeem and restore the beauty that is lost, and bring new life.

The comments in favor of this book and movie, are excuses to sin. Erotica is not valuable literature. It’s a fancy word for “porn.” It’s sexual fantasy. When the graphic sex and violence are removed, there is nothing left. When a man degrades a woman, he is saying she’s worthless. This is a lie from Hell. God created women to be loved and cherished. In a sexually abusive relationship, lost souls are being led down a dangerous path full of manipulative lies. These souls are being damaged.

Reality and Redemption

Why on earth would it be okay, then, to watch a movie with a selfish, sadistic, narcissistic, sexual abuser as the star? What is entertaining about watching women be demeaned, mistreated, battered and abused? How does this give glory and honor to God? It doesn’t. Death would be a better alternative for the character from Shades of Grey. “If anyone causes one of these little ones–those who believe in me–to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea” (Matthew 18:6 NIV). These are the words of Jesus, in red. If someone thinks that is harsh judgment, it can be discussed him. Jesus is real man, a man without sin, and he can take it. In fact, he already did. He took it all, for you and for me, when he died on the cross. He died for girls and boys who are, and have been, sexually abused. He even died for the abusers.

God’s people can be forgiven their sins. Even sexual abusers can be forgiven for atrocities that would otherwise land them into the pit of hell. Why does a sexual abuser, get a chance to go to Heaven? If an abuser asks Jesus into His heart, God lets him in. Why? It’s because Jesus already paid for the sin! He took the punishment for you and me! It’s a gift! God loved us all enough to send His own son, as a living sacrifice, to die for each and every one of us, so that we could live with Him eternally. Hell is not a place anyone wants to go. The devil may buddy up to some people here on earth, but he’s a deceiver. He’s making promises he doesn’t intend to keep. But God does keep his promises, and He has every intention of fulfilling every single one of them for His children.

The Silver Lining

God wants a clean, pure relationship with His children. God forgives all sins, only through His son, Jesus Christ. To receive eternal life, a person must ask Jesus to come into his heart, while acknowledging that he is a sinner, and that Jesus died for him. This is an act of faith, and God calls every man and woman to receive His gift. Since we have to wait until he comes, he offers healing to those who have suffered the pain and agony of physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual abuse. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3 NIV). Jesus understands suffering. He willingly suffered for our sins.

Prayer

Dear God, please forgive your children when they struggle with temptations. Please give them wisdom and discernment. Heal those who are hurting and damaged. Fill your children with your Holy Spirit. Give them eyes to see the truth. Turn your children away from evil, and into the arms of Jesus.

Reflection

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8 NIV). 


Black and white bible page with words of Jesus in red and life-saving verse: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 NIV).

The Good Life…Do We “DESERVE IT?”   (Compassion Series)

The flawless looking model on TV flashes her bright white teeth, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. Her pretend fiancé presents her with a jewelry box containing a pair of expensive diamond earrings. She looks at the camera and says you should have some too, because she insists, “You deserve it!” But I know I don’t, and neither does she. When the world tells us, “We deserve it,” it tells multiple lies to hopeful, hurting people.

The world tells us we deserve nice, expensive things because we are all awesome and wonderful people. The problem is, not everyone is awesome, and most people are not so wonderful either. In fact, none of us deserve anything, because we are all sinners. The world also lies by placing false requirements upon us. It deceives us by telling us we need to pay a lot of money to get the things we rightfully “deserve.” Advertisers and businesses want us to believe that we will become even more awesome and wonderful people if we buy their products. On top of that, the sad truth is these items are only going to temporarily make us feel better.

We are sinners: broken hurting people, raised by broken, hurting people, trying to raise broken, hurting people. That is not so awesome. But the silver lining is that we don’t have to stay that way. We have Jesus. Jesus is NO Band-Aid. Jesus is a HEALER. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3 New International Version). Try as we may to: be a good person, do good deeds, spread goodness…we will never be good enough. We are only good because Jesus lives inside of us. If we continue to follow him, some of his awesome and wonderful goodness will rub off on us too.

We don’t deserve good things, best things, or better than best things. We deserve death: “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 6:23). Sin leads to death; so how can there be hope for anyone? Every day, people lie, cheat, steal, gossip, covet, blame, bully, envy, fight, cuss, and manipulate. People do these things with the intentions of being “good.” That’s because we are born with sin and will battle it until we die. But Jesus loves us still. “And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you” (Psalm 39:7 New Living Translation).

In fact, Jesus loves us so much, that he agreed to sacrifice himself on the cross, as a love offering for you and me. He agreed to have our sins transferred unto himself. But Jesus was perfect! He didn’t deserve death! Yet, he took the punishment that each of us deserved, so we could have a chance to live forever! He took our punishment, so we wouldn’t be in danger of going to Hell. He never changed his mind, even though he could have chosen to save himself from torture and death at any moment. People spat on him. He took it. People insulted him. He took it. People beat him. He took it. People killed him… He died. And then… He LIVED! Why would anyone reject Our Savior who loves us so much? “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8 NIV).

Only with Jesus, do we become awesome and wonderful enough to enter the gates of Heaven. What if we sin? Those of us who accept the sacrifice, and ask Jesus into our hearts, are now cleansed of sin. “ ‘Come now, let us settle the matter,’ says the LORD. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are as red as crimson, they shall be like wool ” (Isa. 1:18). If we have Jesus, we are forgiven through Christ! We no longer have to fear God’s judgment. We can’t get into Heaven without Jesus, because sin cannot be in the presence of God. It separates us from Him. Besides, God has promised us a perfect paradise in Heaven. The tiniest sin would spoil it, just like it did when Adam and Eve sinned in the garden. Isn’t it humbling that God is willing to give us everything we could imagine, including eternal life, even when we don’t deserve it? God offers us a free gift, His Son, Jesus Christ. When we accept the gift, we are receiving eternal life, and the salvation of our souls.

I’m so thankful for Jesus. I’m only good because he lives in me. Though I mess up and make mistakes over and over again, God forgives me, erasing all my sins: past, present, and future. Having a relationship with Jesus means he will help me to become more like him each and every day. I have to be willing to pick up my cross and follow Jesus. When I do this, God will bless me along the way. God gives me good things…not because I deserve them…but because He loves me, and He wants to bless me. And when I die, I will get the biggest reward of my eternal life…a reward which I don’t deserve, but a reward which I will eternally grateful to have; a life in Heaven with God, and His Son Jesus Christ, and all those I love who know him…amazing, incredible, paradise…and it will never, ever end!

“Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me’ ” (Luke 9: 23).

Part 1 in the 5-part Compassion Series: “Being Compassionate to Yourself through Jesus Christ”

Titles in this Compassion Series:

“The Good Life…Do We ‘DESERVE  IT?’ “

“You are Worthy”

“Be Good to Yourself”

“Why Am I So Hard on Myself?”

“Battling Lies that Hurt Us”

 

 

Narcissism: Battling a Self-Centered Sin

Narcissism. It’s the latest overused buzzword. Yet, narcissism is a growing problem, and it’s not about to go away. Narcissism is SIN. A narcissist is extremely self-centered, selfishly promoting oneself at all costs, in order to remain on an imaginary pedestal. 

There are varying levels of narcissism. As someone becomes more selfish, that person becomes more self-centered, and in turn becomes blind to the needs and feelings of others. The self-centered narcissist is then no longer able to have compassion and empathy for other people. Narcissists expect to be the center of attention all the time, every time, believing that others’ lives should revolve around their own. In fact, narcissists get offended if not treated as the special beings they believe themselves to be.  

Narcissists learn to fake the empathy and compassion they lack. They closely watch others, reading their facial expressions and mimicking voice inflections. They react by faking the false emotion which they think best fits the situation. Narcissists manipulate and control people like puppets, in order to keep the spotlight on themselves. They learn how to use self-pity to get others to do their dirty work, and thrive on stirring up drama. They are convincing liars, able to turn on a faucet of tears in order to reach their goal of getting their own way, and gaining more attention. 

A narcissist feeds on “narcissistic supply.” This means they use others in order to get their emotional needs met. They don’t even mind some negative attention, which they would rather have than nothing at all. A narcissist will do whatever is necessary to get “narcissistic supply,” including: working overtime, committing adultery, forging false friendships, and tearing families apart. They jealously set out to destroy relationships, in order to prove that everyone “needs” them in a time of crisis. As the sin grows roots of bitterness, narcissists are willing to take extreme risks, including: placing their children in dangerous situations, taking on extra romantic partners, and falling into dangerous addictions. It’s all about generating narcissistic supply, in order to make other people believe that the narcissist is the personality he or she claims to be.

Narcissists come in all shapes and sizes. Some want to be looked at as powerful authority figures, while others want to be perceived as perfect church leaders. Others may want to be super mom, and still others as bold, fearless, and tough. Whichever role a narcissist chooses, it’s always for self-gratification. Narcissists are willing to lie, cheat, gossip, slander, and steal to make sure the desired facade is not broken. 

Anyone who becomes a threat to the narcissist, by pulling away the false mask, is at risk of having the narcissist attempt to destroy his or her life. This is why many people choose the cowardly route, and instead side with the narcissist, in assigning the truth sayer a scapegoat role. The scapegoat gets blamed for the problems that actually belong to the narcissist. By projecting, the narcissist is often able to hide dysfunction and convince others that the everything is the scapegoat’s fault. The narcissist’s allies want to save their own hides, because they know that disagreeing with the narcissist will make their lives extremely difficult. A narcissist attempts to turn everyone else against the one person who actually sees the wolf in sheep’s clothing. This abusive, self-centered behavior is insidious, because it is all about pretending to be someone the narcissist is not. It’s about charming others and gaining their trust and dependence; then dropping them like hot coals. 

Though a narcissist may not be able to feel true emotions, they feel something akin to deep depression when their main source of attention, or narcissistic supply, is cut off. They don’t actually care about the person missing from their lives; instead they care about themselves and how they are perceived in the public eye. Because people are normally trusting, a narcissist is able to weave his or her way into the lives of sensitive, empathetic people who never knew what was coming. The narcissist needs these people to survive, and fills up on their attention, like a car needs to fill its tank of gas. When the attention runs out, the narcissist is running on empty, and begins a desperate attempt to fill up his or her tank once again. It’s a never ending cycle, exhausting to those around the narcissist, who are required to meet outrageous expectations. 

Because people have other things going on in their lives, no one has the energy or stamina to continuously cater to a narcissist. When people begin to back away, toxic fumes erupt, because the narcissist is angry and running on empty. The narcissist will stop at nothing to get you back as a source of self-esteem, and if you don’t cooperate, they are bound and determined to make sure you do. If you cross them, they will scapegoat you, and try to damage your reputation with gossip, lies, and slander. They will dump and discard you when you have nothing to give, and then try to win you back when they run out of supply. 

Everything a narcissist does, is done with the intent to cast the narcissist in a positive light. Narcissists are people you know: mothers, fathers, children, bosses, teachers, neighbors, and more. Pay attention. They say and do things to show you how “wonderful” they are. They stop at nothing to keep their reputation intact. They fool many innocent people. This self-centeredness is so extreme that it cannot be fixed, or revealed, except by the grace of God. 

As the world we know crumbles under more and more selfish sin, narcissism will become even more and more commonplace. However, with God, the silver lining is always in sight. There is healing in Jesus for victims of narcissism. Jesus can take away the trauma and pain caused by narcissistic abuse. Jesus can break every chain of depression, rejection, fear, guilt, shame, anger, anxiety, isolation, and abandonment that innocent people battle as they try to cope and pick up the pieces of their lost lives. How wonderful it is to know that you can be set free from believing the lies that a self-centered narcissist led you to believe about yourself. 

Biblical boundaries are necessary when dealing with a narcissist, and in some cases may need to be set indefinitely. There’s another silver lining: As hard is it may be for some to comprehend, God loves narcissists too. Though the world will tell us there’s no hope for a narcissist, there is always hope for a narcissist’s transformation through repentance and forgiveness in Jesus. Nothing is impossible with God. Just as a victim of narcissism can be healed through the power and authority of Jesus Christ, and therefore no longer a victim, narcissists can seek God’s forgiveness through Jesus, and turn from the error of their ways. For God loves everyone, and Jesus died for the sins of us all. 

Live your life having joy in Jesus. God has laid it upon my heart to help others learn how God can spiritually heal people hurting from narcissistic abuse. Jesus is our hope which leads to freedom. If you believe you are in the path of a narcissist, I encourage you to learn about this self-centered sin. Yet, remember to pray and pursue Christ as you do, understanding that God’s ways are not man’s ways. God will protect you, heal you, and be your strength and courage, because God is the one who is really in charge! God will give you wisdom and discernment and lead you to those who believe you and can help you. 

It’s not God’s will for lives to be torn to shreds because of narcissism. Pursue God, and put your trust in Him. He has a much bigger plan, and He will use you to bring it to fruition if you let Him! God will pull you through it, giving you joy through Jesus…and God will get the glory! 

God is the great redeemer. He restores relationships, takes the bad, and turns it into good. God’s timing is always best, so hold His hand on your journey, knowing He will never abandon you or disappoint you! God is love, and God loves you!

“The Silver Lining” will be addressing narcissistic topics more in depth. To find other related blog posts, go to The Silver Lining Blog, click the menu button, and click on the keyword “narcissism.” You can also join The Silver Lining on Facebook. 

“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People  be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God– having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.”                              

2 Tim. 3:1-5 New International Version


“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 

2 Peter 3:9

 Let Jesus fill your tank with love, instead!

Let God Reveal True Beauty…not Society

Everywhere I look, society is insisting that it knows the true definition of beauty. If I didn’t know Jesus, I might fall for the myths too. Is beauty a woman after a makeover, or one who bares her natural face? Does it finally come when we lose our extra weight, or is it just when we are eating healthy and can fit into our clothes? Is it a perfect sunny day, or a rainstorm? Is it a picture perfect holiday party setting with family and friends, where nothing goes wrong? Is it little kids running through crunchy colorful fall leaves, or is it a wife running to greet her soldier who is coming home, broken from battle? Is beauty all, none, or some of these things?

We don’t all have the opportunity to create, or live in, our ideal surroundings of what we consider beautiful. Real life is messy and time-consuming. There are sick people to care for, ugly emergencies, life that goes on, without allowing you to unpack your stacks and stacks of cardboard of boxes. There’s illness, stress, depression, and life’s demands. Try as we might, we can’t live up to those picture perfect lives from the magazines, where homes stay clean, families are perfectly dressed and styled, toys are non-existent unless strategically placed, gourmet meals are a given, and home improvement projects are effortless. It seems so beautiful, but the magazines aren’t selling real life; they are selling dreams.

Some of us want to walk around outside and enjoy the nature around us, but life gets in the way. We may have an injury, or too much work to do. Perhaps we struggle with depression, which makes it harder to get up and go outside. Some of us would love to create a beautiful moment by lighting a candle, and enjoying a mug of tea with a favorite book. But we can’t seem to get there either. When you have toddlers, your relaxing bubble bath turns into a swimming pool filled with bath toys. That nap you were going to take on your crisp white sheets sprayed with lavender oil, just got spit up on by your newborn baby. Are these things beautiful? Maybe they are!

How can we understand godly beauty?  We invite Jesus into our lives, for nothing is truly beautiful without God. God will reveal the beauty around us. God created everything. A rainbow is beautiful, because we don’t see one everyday, and only God can create one. God is also the illustrator of beautiful sunsets and starry skies, which are mentioned in the bible. Beaches, trees, butterflies, animals, and people are beautiful. People’s opinions vary on the beauty of these things. Some believe that tall trees, overlooking a babbling brook, are more beautiful than a glistening, white sandy beach. That’s because God made us unique, with our own joyful experiences, as we witness beauty throughout our lives. When it comes to people, God looks inside our hearts for beauty. God did this when He chose King David: “But the LORD said to Samuel, ‘Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7 New International Version).

Sin steals beauty. Sin attempts to ruin the beautiful things and people that God has created. A smashed butterfly is no longer beautiful. Nor, is a beach littered with trash, or an animal that’s been killed on the side of the road. There was no death, until Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, in the Garden of Eden. “Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in the way death came to all people, because all sinned” (Rom. 5:12)– Grass died, flowers began to wilt, animals fought, people murdered each other, and childbirth hurt. Those things aren’t pretty. Sin is ugly. Jealousy, anger, lies, rebellion, and pain came along when sin began insidiously seeping its way into the world. That first sin of disobedience destroyed much of the perfect beauty God meant for us to have.

Let’s not be fooled into thinking that anyone lives a perfectly beautiful life, in perfectly beautiful surroundings, with perfectly beautiful people. Pictures shared on social media are not an accurate representation of our lives, but people share them, because we desire the beauty and perfection, which can only come from God. “From Zion, perfect in beauty, God shines forth” (Ps. 50:2). The reality is, that most of our not-so-beautiful life events, are not shared publicly. Imagine if everyone were to share those!

In real life, people are dealing with sins and strongholds, and just trying to make it through each day. Some people are caring for a sick family member or dealing with a family member going through addiction. Some people are victims of domestic violence or abuse, and others are dealing with anger or depression. We are all affected by each other’s sinful actions. Sometimes there are no choices about the situations in which we find ourselves, but we do have the choice to trust in God and follow Jesus. It’s a promise that God’s path will lead to beauty in your life.

The silver lining is found when God makes beauty out of the brokenness in our lives. He can make beauty from ashes. The bible says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end” (Ecc. 3:11). He will take away our pain and damage, and create something new and beautiful. This brings us hope and healing, and ultimately brings God glory. During the storm, He will lead us to see the beautiful things that He knows will give us the greatest joy. Then we will gain wisdom. It may be a rainbow that surprises you after you’ve cried your eyes out. It may be the beauty of seeing a family member healed, or set free, after many prayers. You may find beauty in the soft, elderly hands you hold as you gaze into your grandmother’s blue or brown eyes, knowing time is running out. Your child is beautiful when she or he gives you a hug after a really hard day. Beauty is reconciliation after answered prayers, when you thought all was lost. Beautiful is the adopted child who comes to his or her forever home to live with you, after you miscarried twice, and thought the hurt would never mend.

Because God is here in our world, because Jesus lives within the brokenhearted, and makes them brand new in him, we can find beauty in imperfections. This is why an old broken down cabin sitting up on a grassy, green hill, looks beautiful with the pink and orange sun going down behind it. The cabin represents history filled with pain and life experiences. Broken people have lived there. But God’s expansive sky surrounds it, and the windows are lit with a soft yellow glow, showing signs of life inside. If you know people who have come to Christ, after rejecting him over and over again, you’ll now see light in their eyes, where once there was darkness. Their lives are not perfect; none of us has a perfect life. But when we walk and talk with Jesus, he makes us beautiful, and he helps us to see the beauty around us.

Ask God to reveal the truth about beauty for you. It matters not what people say or what people believe about beauty. God’s truth about beauty is the only definition we need. If God says it’s ugly, it is, and if God says it’s beautiful, it is! Follow Him, and get excited about the beauty He will reveal to you about yourself, others, and the situations in your life. Not everyone or everything is beautiful. Outward beauty fades, but no one can take away the beauty of Christ within our hearts. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Prov. 31:30). God’s beauty is eternal!

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The Year of the LORD’S Favor

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’S favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
Isaiah 61: 1-3IMG_9316

Stolen Candy Bar…Conviction or Condemnation?

Have you ever stolen a candy bar? Have you ever sinned by doing something you weren’t proud of, and struggled afterwards with guilt, anxiety, shame, fear, and self-condemnation? Even Christians, who know they are forgiven in Christ, will struggle with negative emotions, when they’ve sinned. That’s because the enemy is hell-bent on destroying us.

Condemnation comes from the devil. This voice is nagging and annoying, and you’ll try to run away from it. This voice screams, and beats you down, while trying to break your spirit. This voice says things like: “
What a loser…you stole a candy bar…you really did it this time…what a good-for-nothing worthless thief you are…why can’t you be more like your brother…you’re such an idiot…you should feel guilty…you’ll never amount to anything!”

Conviction comes from The Lord, God. This voice has great power and authority, and you won’t want to ignore it. This voice gently restores, and builds you up, while encouraging you to be more like Jesus. This voice says words like: “You have broken one of my ten commandments by stealing a candy bar…you’re my child, and stealing hurts others and yourself…you need to pay for the candy bar…ask the store owner for forgiveness…he will see Jesus in you…I can use you, even in this situation, to bring others to Jesus…I’m not giving up on you…I forgive you…I love you.”

What a vast difference! Scripture says that through Christ Jesus, we are forgiven for ALL of our sins: past, present, and future. However, this isn’t a license to sin, or to steal candy bars! When we repent, God’s forgiveness reminds us that He is a loving God. It gives us an opportunity to grow closer to Him, while building upon our relationship with Jesus Christ.

We can make things right on the surface, sometimes, by going back to the store, and paying for the candy bar. But that’s not always possible or necessary, and in some cases, it’s not even wise. If you renounce the devil’s condemnation, in the name of Jesus, you can focus on God’s conviction, and on what He wants you to do about the situation. In doing so, God can help set you free from sin and bondage. Learning how to forgive yourself and others, leads to freedom and victory through Jesus Christ!

We also have authority, in Christ, to renounce those very same lies that insist on trying to hover around, even after we’ve confessed, and received forgiveness. “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4 New International Version).

“ ‘Come now, let’s settle this,’ says the LORD. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool’ ” (Isa. 1:18 New Living Translation). Forgiveness makes the devil cringe. He will try to lie to you, so hold fast to the truth of scripture: “So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1). Now, that, brothers and sisters in Christ, is freedom!

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If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”

Romans 10:9