When I see your tiny red naked bodies
clad only in diapers the size of a Kleenex,
I think that nothing is more fragile, and
you’re just like the wings of a butterfly.
While one of you cries out like a hungry kitten,
the other cries out like a bleating sheep.
It hurts to see you suffering,
but I know God is good.
All the other newborn babies are giants
lying near your skinny, premature bodies.
I long to hold you in my arms,
my two little boys, and breathe in your warmth.
Already, you both have heads with hair.
Your daddy smoothes it down for you,
making you look like little men. He holds
your hands in his, no bigger than his thumb.
Deep blue eyes peep out to take a
look around at the world, but bright
fluorescent lights make you pinch them shut.
You frown, and we laugh at the wrinkles between your eyebrows.
And with our laughter, and time,
comes more light. This light from
God brings changes, which give
us more hope and double happiness.
Bare naked bodies are leaving soft downy hair behind.
Wrinkly elephant knees are going away.
You’re filling out, and I’m so filled with joy
that my milk is helping you to grow.
I can see your ribs beneath your skin,
starting to disappear, and your tummies are poking out.
The hollow of each chest pulls in,
as you both use all your strength to breathe.
I marvel at the sight of your hands in mine.
You can barely curl them around my
magnified pinky, but you try, and you succeed,
and your knuckles turn white, because you don’t want me to go.
When you are both finally four pounds,
you still look like peanuts in your isolettes
or happy lima beans when you are all curled up.
You are happy that you are no longer bare,
but wrapped up snug and safe,
like caterpillars in your cocoons.
I’m your mommy,
holding you tight,
and I can’t wait to fly you home with me.
© 1999 Angela Royse Pelleman
“I can do all this through him who gives me strength” (Phil. 4:13 New International Version).
My babies have grown up before my very eyes. Today they are 18 years old, and no longer boys, but young men. I thank God for bringing us through our many trials. Their very lives are a miracle, for they were born 2-1/2 months early, at 29 weeks. The older by just 15 minutes was only 2 pounds, 15 ounces. His twin was not much bigger, at 3 pounds, 5 ounces. The older spent 1-1/2 months in the NICU, and his brother came home after two months. Our family was finally together! Both babies spent five months attached to heart and lung monitors, and the second twin needed an oxygen tank. We had to learn CPR. It was not an easy road for them, nor for our family; but God has never left our side. There has been trauma and severe illness along the way, but our God has been Faithful; and He has given us miracle healings through Jesus Christ. My young men are overcomers; victorious because their strength lies in Christ alone.
I am grateful for the many gifts and talents which God has bestowed upon them in His infinite mercy, grace, and love. As homeschoolers, they are now graduating from high school, and we look forward to what God has planned for their futures. God has given them some amazing gifts and talents in the areas of art, music, computer science, and politics; and we are excited to watch them fly! But what gives me the most joy, is the comfort that both of them have knowledge, wisdom, and discernment in the Word of God. They chose to give their lives to Jesus at the tender age of four. So, as I struggle with a bit of sadness for having to say goodbye to their childhood years, I look towards the silver lining: My young men will always be children of God! They can go to Him in their greatest times of need, for they have privileges which are only given to children of God, through Jesus Christ. They have God’s protection and the ability to approach His throne without fear. They are cleansed by the blood of Jesus for their past, present, and future sins. Rejoice!
Thank you God for watching over my children who are men today. Thank you for watching over them as they get ready to make their way into the world as adults. Watch over them, guide them, and give them extra wisdom and discernment. Cover them with the blood of Jesus, and surround them with your hedge of protection, in Jesus’ name. Be their spiritual eyes and ears, as they go about working, and being the hands and feet of Jesus. Give them courage and strength to reach the lost. like King David; bless them, Lord, and make them men after your own heart. In Jesus’ name, I pray, and I thank you for the privilege of raising these two precious souls, who received you so young; and were baptized in the name of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit! Amen!
“Then I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will lead you with knowledge and understanding” (Jer. 3:15).