Gossip, Lies, and Slander? No worries! God has Your Back!

by Angela Royse Pelleman

The bible tells us we shouldn’t be concerned when others gossip about us.  When others slander us behind our backs, telling lies, it’s so good to know that God has our back!  We can trust in Him completely, because He is Truth, and it will eventually come out.  Those who belong to the Lord don’t have to be discouraged, because when people slander you for walking in truth, you will be set free.  The bible says you will be blessed for it.  “Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you”  (Matthew 5:10-12 New American Standard).

One day, I sat down specifically looking for bible verses that prove God protects us from slanderous lies.  Immediately, I discovered an email from a spiritual sister who does prayer drawings each day.  She draws, while praying, and then writes her devotion based on the image God has provided.  I opened my email that day to find the perfect verse sitting in front of me:  “All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish.  Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them.  Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all.  For I am the Lord, you God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear; I will help you’ ” (Isaiah 41: 11-13 New International Version).

My spiritual sister had been given a drawing of a jester; her devotion was about fools, and how we are not to contend with them.  God has a sense of humor, and confirmed His message, when a co-worker showed up at her door in a silly jester hat she had just made.  Bells and all, she modeled it from the doorway, as my spiritual sister finalized her devotion!  My sister had even prayed her message would reach “someone specific” that day, and that it would be verified.  I was that “someone specific”.  The devotion’s message contained a warning; contending with foolish people robs us of our peace.  God wants us to have peace.  I’m so excited about the freedom that this brings!  This knowledge takes all kinds of stress off my plate!  It means I don’t have to do anything at all, except to trust in my Father God to take care of it for me.

If you are anything like me, your first reaction to gossip, lies, and slander, is to defend yourself.  I used to jump to this immediately.  “Lie about me?  I’m going to set you straight!  I’m going to email you right back and tell you like it really is.  Then, I’m going to call all my friends and family members and tell them what you just did to me, and make sure they know the truth!  How could you do this?  It needs to be fixed…right now!”  No, it doesn’t.  Yes, your name is out there.  Yes they are talking about you.  Lies are told, and your name is being slandered.  The bible itself says, “A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends”  (Proverbs 16:28).

Perhaps God is allowing this trial, because someone along the way needs to learn a simple lesson: If someone is gossiping to you, then they are gossiping about you.  Everyone gets hurt at some point, and we are all blind until God opens our eyes.  Perhaps healing is needed in someone else’s life, and God has given you the strength to handle it.   Perhaps you need growth in this area yourself.  Sometimes a few hearts get broken along the way. God offers a wealth of advice and warnings throughout the book of Proverbs, in order to help us avoid getting involved in some of these situations.  When things are not our fault, we can take comfort in the fact that God will take care of it at just the right time.

You can get all worked up about it, and lose sleep over losing friends, or you can turn it all over to the Lord, and let Him take care of it all in His perfect timing.  It may be that He’s filtering out “friends” who do not know how valuable you are to God, or “friends” that are unhealthy for you.  Perhaps some of these people are not your “friends” at all.  God may be doing His work through some of these people and you, to accomplish a higher purpose for His glory.  He will not leave you behind while doing this.  He will lavish you with blessings.

Jesus was insulted, spat upon, beaten, and ultimately killed.  He did not deserve it, but he accepted God’s will, because he knew it would give us a chance to be saved.  He loved us that much.  Can we do the same? Even though people sinned and treated him terribly, he overlooked his mistreatment, and still loved, healed and prayed for all sinners.  That means you and me.  “And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ And they cast lots to divide his garments” (Luke 23:34 English Standard Version).

When you are slandered, follow God.  God gives boundaries.  Boundaries protect our well -being.  We should pray for people who hurt us, and love them in a Christ-like manner, but we do not have to accept or tolerate behavior that is bad or abusive. “Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul” (Proverbs 22:24-25 New Living Translation).  People who lie and gossip are angry.  Get away from them, before you become trapped in their webs.  “But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard, or swindler.  Do not even eat with such people” (1 Corinthians 5:11). It’s clear that it is acceptable not to communicate with people who slander you.  This is not unforgiveness. In fact, it is obedience to God, and He will protect you and bless you for it.

Jesus also used silence as a boundary.  He knew that his Father, God, would take care of him:  “Then Pilate asked him, ‘Aren’t you going to answer?  See how many things they are accusing you of.’  But Jesus still made no reply, and Pilate was amazed” (Mark 15: 4-5 NIV).  You are not obligated to answer questions involving slander.  It gives you more free time, and it is liberating for your spirit when you realize you don’t have to do anything at all, except leave it to God!   The bible says so!  “The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent” (Exodus 14:14 ESV).  I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty good deal to me!  “You sit and speak against your brother; you slander your own mother’s son.  These things you have done, and I have been silent; you thought that I was one like yourself.  But now I rebuke you and lay the charge before you” (Psalms 50: 20-21 ESV).  Jesus knows all about it.  That’s because he went through it too.

God gives many opportunities for people to ask forgiveness for sin and to truly repent.  “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous person is powerful ad effective” (James 5:16 NIV).  The bible gives clear instructions on how the church is to deal with unrepentant hearts.  The book of Matthew, chapter 18, clearly outlines what should be done.  Until then, boundaries must remain in place.

When there is true repentance for slander, lies, and gossip, there comes a change within a person, a desire to be more like Jesus.  It is possible for a person to change, and turn her life around.  Until God shows you without a doubt, that a person has repented of slanderous behavior and is now living life with a true, Godly change of heart, as difficult as it may be, do not remove the boundary.  “Do not move the ancient boundary which your fathers have set” (Proverbs 22:28 NAS).  Take comfort in the fact that God is the ultimate boundary, and He’s in charge.  All we have to do is follow Him.

A 33-year-old drawing created by Angela when she was in sixth grade. The blonde girl in the foreground is observing three girls in the background. Sadly, two girls are gossiping about the third girl behind her back.

© 2014 Angela Royse Pelleman – The Silver Lining

12 thoughts on “Gossip, Lies, and Slander? No worries! God has Your Back!

    • Angela Royse Pelleman says:

      Beckie, I am so sorry for your pain, but I am so pleased that you have found comfort here at The Silver Lining! Three years ago God established within me a desire to use my words to help others, so that my pain would not be in vain, and could instead be used to glorify His Great Name! God is giving my family, and me, many ideas; so I’m taking them a step at a time! For now, I’d like you to know that my homepage displays specific related topics, such as: narcissism (extreme self-centered abuse which involves slander, gossip, lies, manipulation, and control) abuse, rejection, abuse, freedom, spiritual abuse and more. My tag search involves typing any word in which you are interested, such as “family, “strife,” “betrayal, “Christmas,” “grandparents,” and even “biscuits,” and “Italy!” Please be patient with me as we go back through the blog; add tags, revise, and reorganize past posts. We have some exciting things up ahead; because God has laid some joyful things upon my heart to share on the blog. Currently, for your husband and yourself, I suggest looking under the topic: narcissism, which goes into some depth about family dysfunction. More posts will be added! You might discover you feel surprise, anger,and relief…all at once! Please feel free to contact me at this blog, or on my Facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/angelaslittleattic with any questions, comments, or suggestions. On Facebook, you can also post “the silver lining” experiences God has given to you, because I look forward to reading and sharing stories from my readers, whom I cherish and appreciate. God bless you, Beckie, in Jesus’ name! To encourage you now, I leave you with this gem of wisdom: One thing God has taught me, is when people are treating you the worst, God is actually protecting you; and He is closer to you than the air you breathe! 💙

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    • Angela Royse Pelleman says:

      Cherilyn, YES! It’s just too much to try and keep track of it all! It would be impossible to find all the people a narcissist lied to, and then attempt to set the record straight! It would be absolutely exhausting! I’d rather spend my time joyously trusting in God for Him to work it all out for my benefit and His Great Glory! Anyone who does not even care enough to ask for the side of the one gossiped about, certainly does NOT care enough about about me! I don’t need to spend a second of my life trying to prove myself to those who never planned to give me the benefit of the doubt anyway! It’s so much easier letting God do all of that. If He required something of me, I would surely obey Him; but He has promised me that I can just forgive, and live my life in joy and freedom! That sounds so much more inviting, and in the meantime, I will keep pursuing Jesus; seeking to honor him, and let people know of his great love for all of us! 💙
      Love you, my precious sister in Christ! 😊

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    • Angela Royse Pelleman says:

      I LOVED your white lies post, Matthew! I agree that a white lie is still a lie. You’ve actually inspired me to write a post about white lies from my own life! I’m so glad to have your support and encouragement, and to be able to sit back and enjoy reading truth from your blog! Today I have shared one of your truth-filled posts about Forgiveness, at The Silver Lining Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/angelaslittleattic. I’m glad to have you as a brother in Christ! 💙

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    • Angela Royse Pelleman says:

      I love the post you linked to mine… excellent! The devil definitely tries to get Christians to gossip about other Christians by criticizing and condemning them. How sad! We need to recognize this is the work of the devil, and renounce it in Jesus’ name! Then we need to ask God to fill us with His Holy Spirit, so we can hear His Truth! 💙

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  1. Rita says:

    There is so much truth in this, I have experienced a turnaround in a few situations where I did not lash back, but prayed for someone and in the end, they actually became a friend, and came to me at some point of their lives…it is the power of God, powerfully written Angela, so much content and depth in it..Wow!

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